35歲的西蒙·胡珀(Simon Hooper)是一位網名為“女兒之父”的知名博主,目前擁有90多萬的Instagram粉絲。西蒙與妻子克萊米·胡珀(Clemmie Hooper)育有四個女兒,其中包括大女兒Anya、二女兒Marnie和一對同卵雙胞胎女兒Ottilie和Delilah。

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Thanks to advances in modern technology and the advent of on-demand viewing (which has helped to bring about a generation who have less patience than a closed down hospital), our children will never know the joy of planning the family festive viewing schedule by taking turns to circle things in the annually bought radio times using red biro or the pain of having to make a choice between Bruce Willis crawling through air ducts in Die Hard and Harrison ford having his heart ripped out by a blood thirsty witch doctor in Indiana Jones, both of which had been scheduled at same time (& both festive heart warmers). Yet it seems there's such thing as too much choice these days, so with everyone now 'off' from Christmas, we settling in for our first festive family argument which was only resolved when Toy story was whacked on, pop corn was rolled out and the remote was hidden in a kitchen drawer. 1hr 21mins of relative silence. I think @mother_of_daughters was quite pleased with her suggestion – Everyone else looking forward to some intense forced family time this christmas? #hohohonowihaveamachinegun #donttouchtheremote#forcedfamilyfun #wherestheredbiro #toystoryforthewin #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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一家六口其樂融融幸福的生活着,讓人看了好生羨慕。不過,俗話說家家都有本難念的經,眾所不知這位老爸一直有一個非常令他苦惱的事情,那就是他經常無法分清這對雙胞胎小女兒到底誰是誰?當他將自己的苦惱在網上一公布,網友們也炸鍋了,紛紛炮轟老爸不稱職“這是怎麼搞的,完全沒有道理嗎!”

可是,大家都來瞅瞅嘛,這對三歲的雙胞胎女兒都有一頭華麗的金色捲髮,藍色的眼睛和燦爛笑容,明明就是長得一樣一樣的~

糊裡糊塗的西蒙發帖說:“我以為我能成為一個可以區分雙胞胎的父母,但我錯了 。” 本以為自己可以搞定整件事情,把兩個雙胞胎女兒喚作為“這一個”,“那一個”或“雙胞胎”的日子已經結束了,但很無奈,這樣的日子並沒有結束。西蒙還玩笑似的感謝他的妻子把這對雙胞胎裝扮成了一個鏡像物體。

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To Ottie & Delilah: 3 years ago today we became the proud owners of a buy one get one free deal that we didn't volunteer to receive. Frankly I was scared shitless of the thought of you, but as soon as you arrived in the world & I held you in my arms, those fears dissipated and drifted away on the winter breeze in south London. Yes, parenting is now the equivalent of herding cats high on speed whilst blindfolded, the volume level is our house shatters windows and Yes, your arrival reduced male representation in our family down a measly 16%, but you have helped shape us as parents, as siblings and as a family. You've grown from crying balls of flesh who I couldn't tell apart, into wonderful individuals who enrich our lives and have unintentionally taught me a lot about myself – 1). I'm genetically hard coded to only make females. 2). I have more patience than I ever thought possible 3). you helped me gain a new perspective on whats important in life and 4). you've helped me realise that I'm capable of more than I give myself credit for. You completed our family and completed our lives so thank you for being you. Just promise you'll easy to handle in the future as the thought of you as teenagers scares me shitless again! #fatherofdaughters #mygirls #twins #happybirthday #tomygirls #dadlife #instadad #lovefromboston

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苦惱的西蒙日常中,時不時的就會來點小打擊,比如他在最近寫道:“現實生活中的猜謎遊戲很失敗,今天的我直接回到原點,我叫出了錯誤的(女兒們的)名字,並且收到了她們的“白臉”,最後還沒有得到任何人的回應。

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I thought I had it nailed – I thought the days of refering to ottie and Delilah simply as 'this one', 'that one' and 'the twins' were numbered and that I was going to be a parent who could distinguish between my genetic copycats. I was wrong. Thanks to @mother_of_daughters dressing them as mirror images of themselves, today I was straight back to square one & spent the next 15 minutes playing a real-life guess who – calling them the wrong names only to receive blank faces & zero responses in return. I'm strongly considering shaving one of their heads. Screw the curls – the need to identify my own children is more important. #twinlife #myscrewed #noshedidit #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod #twins #guesswho

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雖然挫敗至極,但是西蒙仍然勇敢的向大家表露自己的想法:“我正在考慮剃掉她們其中一個人的頭髮,或者是拉直捲髮,因為這樣能夠幫助我識別自己的孩子,這很重要。”

對於這個有趣的帖子網絡上已引發熱議,不少網友留言討論這位老爸的難題,並且在留言區開始了激烈的辯論,一些人甚至質疑為什麼一位爸爸居然不了解自己的孩子。

一位網友寫道:“我知道他們是完全相同的(真的很明顯),但西蒙可是她們的父親啊!我曾經在一對同卵雙胞胎女孩14個月~2歲期間照看過她們,並且在一個月內我就可以分辨她們。”

這位網友還表示,她能成功的分辨出雙胞胎姐妹是因為其“外表上令人難以置信的微妙變化,例如他們的頭髮掉落的方式。”

同時她也表示:“可能同卵雙胞胎在性格上也是相同的,這就是為什麼分辨她們是很難的事情,或者西蒙也許只是為了在Instagram上搞笑而寫出這些玩笑話。但我必須承認,如果這是他無法辦到的事情,我會覺得這很奇怪,因為他明顯是一個親歷親為的爸爸。”

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Our house is fast becoming a commune for dolls that have cast aside the constraints of clothing & embraced their natural form in all its glory. In other words, it's a plastic nudist camp. I have drawers literally full of fake people rocking all sorts vaginas and penis's, ranging from limbless pound shop dolls with smooth under carriages all the way up to these rather detailed, anatomically correct ones that love nothing more than letting it all hang free, and I for one am tired of having a penis pushed it my face at bed time (there's a sentence I never thought I say). Through hosting this 'celebration of the flesh' I've also learnt that girls think Willie's are hands down, THE most hilarious thing on the planet, which is just great for me. Do boys find vaginas funny? Not that I'm aware. So why is our manhood worth more laughs than a sellout comedy gig? I'm off to get surgery to make myself completely smooth so the laughing will stop. #plasticnudistcamp #willyintheface #dontlaughatit #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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當然,也有不少網友選擇為西蒙辯護,不少人聲稱自己也經歷過類似的狀況。

一位媽媽表示,她的兩個孩子在嬰兒時期,丈夫沒辦法區分他們,並且他們還不是一對雙胞胎。她說: “我故意將照片改為黑白照片,這樣他就沒辦法通過衣服的顏色來辨別,然後再讓他猜測出每個孩子的名字。”

第二位女士聲稱,她也很苦惱,她有3個可愛的孩子,雖然他們處於不同的年齡段,但是他們長得很像。看着孩子的照片時,她也很容易出現混淆的感覺。 並且她的丈夫也常會對孩子們嬰兒時期的照片產生懷疑,還總是與她核實到底誰是誰。當然很多時候都能猜對,但也有失誤的時候。

另一位媽媽則評論說,她的女兒也是同卵雙胞胎,“她們不能在照片中分辨出哪個是自己。但我可以很容易地區別她們,對我而言,她們的面部表情是不同的,因此她們看起來非常不同。但在生活中的每一個人都無法分辨她們,雖然她們的父親在這方面雖然表現得越來越好,但仍然有很多次混淆的情況出現。”

還有一位媽媽居然提出這樣的疑問:“從來沒有人知道同卵雙胞胎會相互扮演對方的角色,是嗎?”

這位網友拋出的這個疑問絕對“高端”,如果同卵雙胞胎們真的互扮對方的角色,估計沒有父母能招架得住!可以想象,當熊孩子幹了一件壞事後,擺出打死也不承認的態度時,可憐的老爸老媽們絕對無法從體貌特徵中正確“審理案件”啦!

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So it seems that 'chicken pops' as the twins call them, have descended on our house like a biblical plague, so for the next week, @mother_of_daughters and I will be arguing about who's job is more important and who has to take time off to watch Ottie's & Delilah desperately try not to scratch. Having gone through this now 4 times, we know what to expect, but being relatively helpless when it comes to easing their discomfort still makes you feel as useful as a pair of left handed scissors at an international convention for right handed people. I wonder if they do they do those cones you see on animals in toddler size? Perhaps duct taping gloves on will be enough? To be fair , they don't seem to care at the moment , but suddenly I'm feeling very itchy!! #itchyoucantscratch #chickenpops #aplagueonbothyourhouses #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fodv

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最後還是寄希望於屏幕前的網友們,多幫老爸西蒙指出這兩個雙胞胎女孩之間的區別吧~

(本文由希望之聲編輯編譯綜合,保留版權。未經希望之聲書面授權,不得轉載。)

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